Twenty reasons why you must say no to premarital sex
TWENTY REASONS WHY WE MUST AVOID PREMARITAL SEX
1.Premarital sex is strictly forbidden by GOD. Sex before marriage is referred to as terrible sin called fornication. Sex is good, holy and acceptable before men and God. This is only if it is done by the right persons at the right time. The act of sex is a powerful experience. Nobody can play sex and remain the same. It has the ability to change the destiny of a person. People have said much about sex that it has become so distorted to the extend that other do not want anything to do with it. Bur the eternal word of God has the final answer concerning what is the purpose of sex.
You can only beak a blood covenant at your own risk. Jesus has condemned divorce with the strongest possible terms. Where do we obtain the blood for the marriage covenant? A young girl, who is a virgin, has a membrane in her vagina, which is called hymen. It is only broken at her first penetration of a penis except that some scientists talk about! When the hymen is broken blood flows out and it at least touches the man’s penis such is the blood of the marriage covenant. You have to meditate on it. In Israel, they used to put new garments on the bed of newly wedded couples and if there were blood spots, this proved virginity. If not, the lady was stoned for being unfaithful with her body. How many today need stones! If those two persons who have broken the hymen stay together they make the strongest marriage on earth. If they “marry” other people they do it in vain. They will definitely cause heartaches, although God can still wink at such ignorance. But after this light is shed abroad, there will be no winking again, any sexual encounter involves at least these two events:
God Almighty the maker of heaven and earth is a holy God and He does not commit Himself to a person who is not holy. Hence, He deals with a person on the basis of how committed they are to be holy. For example, God did not just tell Abraham that He would bless him and make him a father of many nations without several conditions which would safeguard His holiness. There were conditions like, get out of your country, your relatives and your father’s house.
Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee: What is holiness? Holiness is to be set apart for God’s use. This means that anything that has been separated for God’s use that thing is declared holy. If you declare that your house is God’s property, that house becomes holy. If some men build a house and then set it apart as God’s property, that building becomes holy. This setting a part of a thing or somebody for God’s use is called dedication. The Bible says that every dedicated thing is holy for the LORD. Other words can also be used like sanctification, consecration or even committed. God is a holy God and everything He touches becomes holy. For example when He appeared in a normal wilderness bush, He declared to Moses to remove His shoes because the place where He stood was holy.
And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.
2.Premarital sex will increase ones chances of getting sexually transmitted diseases e.g. Gonorrhoea, AIDS, syphilis.
3.Premarital sex will make your boyfriend, girlfriend of spouse to find it hard to trust you because of the low moral stand you will uphold before marriage.
4.Premarital sex will make you to deal with guilt and self esteem problems always in your relationships with people in life.
5.Premarital sex will seriously damage your relationship and walk with GOD. This will harm the Church and the testimony of Christ.
6.Premarital sex will damage sexual fulfillment later in life making it less satisfying.
7.Premarital sex will make it hard to avoid unwanted pregnancies, abortions and its consequences, not to mention the agonies of raising children as a single parent.
8.Premarital sex will trigger a strong desire for illicit sex, which one may never stop because love will be replaced with lust.
9.Premarital sex will leave an internal wound and scar that will be difficult to heal except by the miracle of GOD.
10.Premarital sex will make a crack in your marriage that shall cause one later divorce due to the possibility of the temptation of extramarital sex.
11.Premarital sex will definitely harm greatly your relationship with your parents.
12.Premarital sex will make you never have the strength to tell others even your children to abstain from pre-marital sex.
13.Premarital sex will leave bad tormenting memories for a long time and that will destroy your ability to trust others.
14.Premarital sex will definitely cause you to regret later why you did nor wait until you were married. The Bible says the marriage bed should be undefiled (Heb. 13:4).
15.Premarital sex will make it difficult to proof to your partner that you love him or her sincerely when you could not keep his or her dignity until marriage.
16.Premarital sex will alter your sexual standards greatly and affect your friends because your friends will either honour or despise you forever in life. The Bible says that Marriage is honourable in all (Heb. 13:4).
17.Premarital sex will cause you to sin against your body (I Cor. 6:18). This is because waiting will bring self-control, feeling of self-respect and dignity.
18.Premarital sex will damage your personal reputation and your parent’s which you have been building since your childhood.
19.Premarital sex will bring great harm to the society in the eventual approximation: for you will break hearts, families, dreams and projects because of your promiscuity.The Danger of Dangerous Sex
By Josphert Kimatu
I Corinthians 6:15-20 says “know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of a harlot? God forbid. What know ye not that he who is joined to a harlot is one body? For two saith He shall be one flesh. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. Flee fornication. Every sin that a doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. What! Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost who is in you, who you have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God’s.”
I have quoted the verses because I know most people will not study this paper with a Bible at hand. The word of God has said clearly that when one is born again, His body becomes a part of the body of Christ. Remember when Saul of Tarsus was persecuting the church, Jesus Christ said it was He who was being persecuted (Acts 9). So our bodies are now dwelt by the Holy Spirit, because we are bought of God by the Blood of Jesus Christ. Now, because of darkness men can establish union with a woman. Oh the glory of marriage. Marriage is a strong covenant. And I am very bold in saying that most people do not live with their wives although they are staying with other women as their wives. They even have children bearing their names. Let me describe (with all solemnity) how the marriage covenant is established. Remember a covenant is an agreement between two parties or people. The strongest covenant is one, which involves blood as its binding force, especially if God is the guarantor. Marriage is a blood covenant. Oh, what do you mean?
Marriage is a blood covenant
1.The absolute union of the two. They becomes one, i.e.
1 + 1 = 1
whether it is your wife, another woman or even a harlot. Paul has said, the two shall be one (1Cor. 6:16).
In other words, you are married to that woman, she leaves a mark on you which you cannot erase. Your mind, your will, your emotions are completely split. If you look at old couples they are exactly the same. Even sometimes in their thinking. If they have faithful, my friend harlots are more dangerous than witches.
They leave an open door the satan in all lives which they have touched. Never have sex with anyone who you are not ready to be united to. Be sure that no secret will be left uncovered before that person. All your mental treasure, your physical and spiritual treasures will be at the mercy of that person. The Bible says you will be reduced to piece of dry bread (Proverbs 6:26). She hurts for the precious life. (I will discuss more on this).
2. There is transfer of substances and beings after and during sex, during sex the two become one. And as the joy and the emotions rise there transfer of blessings, curses, evil spirits and demons between the two parties. Do you know that nobody in this world was born without great treasures? All are born rich, but at one point in life one loses his godly God given riches. (This is the work of the deliverance ministry to enable men to retrace their prosperity). In your spirit is written how many years you have to live (at least 70), your riches, your spiritual inheritance etc. Most of which can only be exploited in Christ Jesus.
Some people have played sex without such knowledge and have had riches and years stolen during sex, evil men can transfer evil spirits and curses to a virgin and steal her blessings instead the virgin is left as though looted. I have seen many looted lives. You can not joke with sex and be safe. Blessings are released step by step. Those which you need now are the ones which can easily be stolen. You have to watch yours now, otherwise your future will be dark. This is because if your present blessings are stolen your future potential which could have been triggered by your present blessings will not operate. Only a miracle of God can safe such victims. And they always pay heavy prices. Most unfortunate events are because of some illegal sex deals somewhere. This must be taught to our youths point blank otherwise they will blame nobody, but themselves when they discover their loses.
I have taught many youths and immediately they realize that in sex they become united and they transfer something during the occasion, many have cried bitter cries. The Lord has been gracious to restore their blessing again. Dear brethren, our conscience cries against illegal sex. Let us obey it. The word of God says “whosoever commits adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroys his own soul” (Pro. 6:32).
How to get a marriage partner
Chapter One
The Value of Holiness
Genesis 12:1-3
2 And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing:
3 And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.
The clear understanding of the holiness of God is very crucial if we desire to have the full revelation of His leading in sensitive matters like marriage partners. The Word of God clearly says that we should “follow holiness without which no man shall see the Lord”. This does not just mean one shall not go to heaven, but also includes that a man shall not see God in action in his or her life here on earth.
Hebrews 12:14
14 Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord:
Exodus 3:5
There is a difference between holiness and Purity.
I tend to believe that purity is a higher level of holiness. This implies that a thing or a person that has been set apart for God is holy. But, can now be cleansed more from every form of filthiness and be declared pure. Purification is more practical than holiness. The Bible says we should be holy, but it also says we should be pure by perfecting holiness. Purity is tested holiness. It is tested purity that enters into God's presence. Then it understands God's will and it then qualifies to serve God.
1 Corinthians 7:1
Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
1 John 3:2-3
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is. 3 And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure.
Matthew 5:8
Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.
Hence, we can clearly see that our walk with a holy God demands that we be holy and we must keep on walking with the Holy Spirit in order for us to be pure; especially to be pure in heart.
One of the great desires of God is for us to have fellowship with Him eternally. This logically means that if God is holy, then we must desire to be holy as He is holy. Everything about God is holy and any human being who does not prioritize holiness and purity should forget any fellowship with the Holy God of Israel. Those who want to hear any message about marriage from this Holy God must decide to be holy. This is because even the Bible we are going to read is called Holy Bible, for a holy nation which is preparing to go to a holy heaven.
Revelation 4:8
And the four beasts had each of them six wings about him; and they were full of eyes within: and they rest not day and night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.
Psalms 20:6
Now know I that the LORD saveth his anointed; he will hear him from his holy heaven with the saving strength of his right hand.
1 Peter 1:15-16
But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;
16 Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.
Having settled the question of holiness we can now move on to show the way in which God leads His people to the right choices and what they are supposed to do.
Chapter Two
Identifying which kind of person you are
We come to God from various backgrounds. The background which one comes from is important in understanding how God will deal with the person. The Bible categorizes all the people on earth in three groups. The three groups are Jews, Gentiles and the Church of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31-33
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
32 Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God:
33 Even as I please all men in all things, not seeking mine own profit, but the profit of many, that they may be saved.
The way God dealt with the Jews and Gentiles in old days can be read in the Old Testament. We shall hereby deal with the way God deals with those who enter into the Church of the living God either from the Jews or from the Gentle world. However, all who enter into the church are always brought into fellowship with the Lord Jesus Christ by the Holy Spirit.
The Rebecca type of people
According to my study of the Word of God I believe that there is a certain kind of people who have known about a holy God at early age or have known the way of holiness all through their lives. I compare these people with Rebecca who was brought up in the family which was connected to the knowledge of a holy God and was careful not to displease Him. This family could have heard how Abraham was called by a God called Elshaddai and how He told Abraham to walk before Him and be perfect (Genesis 17:1) and later God blessed him with all things.
Hence, there are several principles which God uses to guide such kind of people to have the right kind of marriage partners. I shall call this way the Rebecca way.
The Ruth type of people
The other category of people is the Ruth type of people. These are people who have come from a background which did not have any idea of a holy God. They lived and even worshipped other gods, did all kind of wickeness but they have repented and completely turned to seek a holy God for their lives. We can see how a Moabites called Ruth came to be in the lineage of Jesus Christ. Moabites are descendants of lot who came though the wine drinking idea and adultery incest of the daughters of Lot.
Genesis 19:32-38
Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
33 .And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
34. And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father.
35 .And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose.
36 .Thus were both the daughters of Lot with child by their father.
37 .And the firstborn bare a son, and called his name Moab: the same is the father of the Moabites unto this day.
38 .And the younger, she also bare a son, and called his name Benammi: the same is the father of the children of Ammon unto this day.
This was the background of Ruth which is very similar with the background of millions of believers in Christ. Hence, it gives us great hope to know there is a way in which God makes people of such background to enter in His eternal plan with the right marriage partners. Praise the Lord.
There are similarities and differences in the Rebecca and the Ruth ways; hence it is important to carefully follow the ways of deliverance and the ways of obtaining the inheritance.
Chapter Three
The Rebecca Way
The Rebecca way is shown in the longest chapter of Genesis. This is Genesis 24. It shall be important to read the chapter through several times. We can have two lines of interpretation from this passage. One is more literal and the other is concerning the Body of Christ the Church. I shall discuss the literal interpretation first.
Genesis 24:1
1 And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the LORD had blessed Abraham in all things.
This shows that God has a right time at which human being can be able to discern things for their children. This is what is hereby called old age. Wisdom comes by age at times. Remember wisdom is the application of knowledge. Abraham must have accumulated much knowledge from God and from men. He had done military work in Genesis 14, he had done the shepherd job, priestly job, and he was a husband and a father. Hence, he could be in a position of knowing the demands of a marriage and could easily discern for the children. This simply shows that marriage needs social advice and material preparations which God has been involved in their accumulation.
Genesis 24: 2-4
2 And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh:
3 And I will make thee swear by the LORD, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell: 4 But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.
Marriage is a serious matter which does not entertain mistakes, hence God must be involved and people who are emotionally stable are important in guiding the affairs of laying the foundations of a family. Choosing is a God given ability which human beings must exercise in marriage but must be guided by a discernment of the holiness demands of God. You can not just marry anybody.
Genesis 25:5
5 And the servant said unto him, Peradventure the woman will not be willing to follow me unto this land: must I needs bring thy son again unto the land from whence thou camest?
The woman must also willingly make a choice. Hence, a woman needs to be sensitive to know the will of God and obey it at the right time. This sensitivity can be easy for a person who is not battling with a guilty conscience but by one who is holy.
6 And Abraham said unto him, Beware thou that thou bring not my son thither again.
7 The LORD God of heaven, which took me from my father's house, and from the land of my kindred, and which spake unto me, and that sware unto me, saying, Unto thy seed will I give this land; he shall send his angel before thee, and thou shalt take a wife unto my son from thence.
Abraham’s experience with God was enormous, and he could clearly understand the ways of God. We hereby notice that angels seem to be also helpful in directing a man or a woman to that right place to meet the right partner. The Bible says that angels are ministering spirits send forth to minister for those who are heirs of salvation. Hebrews 1:14
8 And if the woman will not be willing to follow thee, then thou shalt be clear from this my oath: only bring not my son thither again.
9 And the servant put his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and sware to him concerning that matter.
10 And the servant took ten camels of the camels of his master, and departed; for all the goods of his master were in his hand: and he arose, and went to Mesopotamia, unto the city of Nahor.
This passage shows the need for preparation and the aspect of giving the parents of the girl dowry. This is mainly to assure the parents that the child they are giving is going into safe able hands and hence the detachments will easily be emotionally accommodated.
Positioning yourself for the right partner
Now we come to a crucial stage in this passage as we identify key things which a woman could be doing so as to position themselves for the right person.
Doing the right duty at the right time
11 And he made his camels to kneel down without the city by a well of water at the time of the evening, even the time that women go out to draw water.
The passage here shows there are particular duties and times which communities and nations expect their women to be performing. Hence, a deviation or a lack of understanding of such norms can make it more difficult for a woman to find the right partner. Rebecca came at the right time!
12 And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.
It is important for ladies to understand that men are also praying to the same holy God for the right partners at the right time. To get the right partner seems to the fruit of a faithful life.
13 Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water:
14 And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.
The ability to have a good heart without any prejudice is important for women. The person who you communicate to might not be Mr. right but, may be that special connection to your Mr. right. So the way God has set His exam to test your heart attitude might determine your destiny. Its good not to be partial to anybody but consider others better than your self. Do not response according to outward appearance but the fear of God in your life will make you to discern the will and the ways of God in obscure places and times.
2. A woman, must be ready to deny herself and sacrificially serve anywhere
15 And it came to pass, before he had done speaking, that, behold, Rebekah came out, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, with her pitcher upon her shoulder.
16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Rebecca could not know when that moment was to come. It came when she might have been tired and ready to go home. But her reaction was very significant; she brushed aside all the tiredness and served willingly. We also notice that the outward look of a woman is very important. When women are like women they can easily be seen. This is more so when this outward beauty is coupled with the inward purity and aspects of hard work. It is important to notice that Rebecca did not regard her beauty as an hindrance for her to work and serve others.
17 And the servant ran to meet her, and said, Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher.
It is discernable that usually men do not set a high standard for ladies. They usually ask a little drink so that they can see if the lady can willingly go an extra mile in submission and service.
2.Must be submissiveness, hardworking and ready to offer service
18 And she said, Drink, my lord: and she hasted, and let down her pitcher upon her hand, and gave him drink.
We should not imagine that to be submissive is a character which is developed in marriage. In many cases is not so. The art of submissiveness, hard work and sacrificial service is developed by a woman’s background and personal devotion to God. It is known very early even before marriage. It is a character a woman cultivates at girlhood but can be improved in marriage.
3.Must be able to see a need and strive to meet it.
19 And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking.
This is excellent for Rebecca. She gives drink to the man and sees the man has other needs and seeks to help him. She is a true helpmate. A woman of substance must be ready to willing see a need and meet it. This is what really baffles men and touches their hearts.
20 And she hasted, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again unto the well to draw water, and drew for all his camels.
21 And the man wondering at her held his peace, to wit whether the LORD had made his journey prosperous or not.
22 And it came to pass, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden earring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold;
This is significant. When men see what they wished from a woman and even the woman goes beyond what they thought they could offer. Then men always open up their treasures for the woman. And surprisingly men know how to make women beautiful, attractive and very happy. Rebecca must have now feeling highly motivated to serve to the uttermost. This is the law of marriage in which as you fulfill the needs of your marriage partner you directly receive tremendous surprises of benefits which in turn motivate you more to please your mate more. This law needs to be applied by many couples so as to put more fire in their marriages.
23 And said, Whose daughter art thou? tell me, I pray thee: is there room in thy father's house for us to lodge in?
Men always want to know a woman’s background. There aim is usually to know whether it is pure or not so as to commit themselves and all that they have to that woman.
24 And she said unto him, I am the daughter of Bethuel the son of Milcah, which she bare unto Nahor. 25 She said moreover unto him, We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in.
Words are an expression of the condition and state of the heart of a person. The way a man builds his trust in a woman is highly enhanced by the accuracy and the grace of the speech. The questions men ask are supposed to be answered accurately for their answers lead to other questions. Hence, men who do not want to waste time are encouraged by women who are accurate in answering and are precise.
26 And the man bowed down his head, and worshipped the LORD.
This manner of life and speech from a woman can drive a man to worship God. Hence the value of a quite and meek spirit is very precious in the sight of God for it is a form of evangelism.
27 And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of my master Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy and his truth: I being in the way, the LORD led me to the house of my master's brethren.
28 And the damsel ran, and told them of her mother's house these things.
29 And Rebekah had a brother, and his name was Laban: and Laban ran out unto the man, unto the well.
It seems this family was trained to do things without wasting time. We notice that all of them were running to execute responsibilities. Hence, we can get a clue of where the hard working training of Rebecca could have come from. There is a lot of influence of how a family character can be impacted to a child.
30 And it came to pass, when he saw the earring and bracelets upon his sister's hands, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, Thus spake the man unto me; that he came unto the man; and, behold, he stood by the camels at the well.
The way one treats a sister can make the emotional attachments which a brother has to a sister to melt away for this assures the relatives that their daughter is in safe arms. This is also a part of the unnoticed dowry which one pays so that the friction of stating a family is eased. Everybody wants his sister to be married well and by a responsible man. Anybody who is not willing to spend the best of substances on the one he loves most is really disoriented.
31 And he said, Come in, thou blessed of the LORD; wherefore standest thou without? for I have prepared the house, and room for the camels.
32 And the man came into the house: and he ungirded his camels, and gave straw and provender for the camels, and water to wash his feet, and the men's feet that were with him.
This story is repeated again from verse 33 to verse 49 to show how reliable and accurate it is in guiding us in such matters.
50 Then Laban and Bethuel answered and said, The thing proceedeth from the LORD: we cannot speak unto thee bad or good.
This shows that when one is in the perfect will of God, then all circumstances shall be in agreement with God’s provision and ordering. Even human being shall say. This thing proceeds from the LORD.
51 Behold, Rebekah is before thee, take her, and go, and let her be thy master's son's wife, as the LORD hath spoken. 52 And it came to pass, that, when Abraham's servant heard their words, he worshipped the LORD, bowing himself to the earth. 53 And the servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and raiment, and gave them to Rebekah: he gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things.